


Black Sea

by Saturnkind



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death(s), Fights, First Kiss, Ghosts, Love Confessions, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Talking To Dead People
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25502023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saturnkind/pseuds/Saturnkind
Summary: Today was the worst day of the year.
Relationships: Implied Sebastian Rudy/Niklas Süle, Robert Lewandowski/Thomas Müller
Kudos: 6





	Black Sea

**Author's Note:**

> (I worked on this one for months, not gonna lie.)
> 
> Also, if you are looking for that pirate slang and an extra-detailed fight, I'm sorry but this may be not be of your liking.
> 
> That being said, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do! <3
> 
> (Title from Natasha Blume's song with the same name).

Today was the worst day of the year.

Robert dropped a tear on ship railing.

A year had passed since the death of his mate, Thomas; and nothing was ever like it was before. There was no one on the ship to cheer him up like he used to on the toughest days, there was no one to make others laugh at his nonsense, and most of all, Robert no longer had a best friend.

He seemed to be the most affected. The others had lost some of their shine after the accident, but over the months, the wound began to stop being as painful as that night after the storm.

Robert was not the type to have nightmares, or even dreams, but since then, nightmares gradually became part of his daily life. They were almost always the same or with a small change, where he heard Thomas' cries and screams for help, and the frantic movement of his arms among the waves that could do nothing to avoid his slow and horrid death.

Although he tried to cheer himself up by remembering his late-night talks and memories from his past travels as they fought side-by-side against enemy ships, that only depressed him further, and only one sentence hung around his head the rest of the days:

" _I’d love to keep protecting this ship, even when I’m no longer here._ "

It was what Thomas had confessed to Robert on a full moon night, when they both shared, with the lights off, their thoughts on subjects they did not usually touch with the others: the supernatural, the very creation of the world, and even whether it existed something like life after death.

Thomas could always talk for hours and he would never get tired. He was the _soul_ of the crew, the one that was always or tried to be for everyone, ready to help anyone with whatever they needed. Robert would be lying if he said he was not honored to know a part of his friend that no one else knew.

But now he was no longer there.

Not for the others, and not for him.

Robert couldn't help but think about killing himself after the accident. Thomas was his best friend, to whom he always confided his deepest thoughts that he never used to tell to anyone else. And now with his absence, he went to sleep thinking that it had been his fault, for not passing him the rope in time, for not telling him to hold on to something a little stronger, for not being able to hold on tightly before falling.

At least it was like that for a week, but with the constant emotional and moral support of his crewmates, especially Manuel, his captain, those thoughts were almost completely erased from his mind. He wanted to stay on the ship, follow Thomas' legacy, and try to fulfill his dreams for him.

But it wasn't as easy as he thought.

Although he tried, even with his mates defending the ship's name through and through, Robert, who should be an 'example' of quartermaster for the other mates, lately he didn't even have the strength to fight his enemies anymore.

Robert could have killed as many men as he wanted. He was aware of his strength and was very proud of it, but what happened made something change in his way of being. 

He no longer thought about killing anyone, or at least causing physical pain to someone. He couldn't count with his own fingers how many times he spared the lives of some of the crew of other enemy ships. On their faces, no matter how different they were, he saw reflexed a pained expression of Thomas, and Robert couldn’t help thinking that it was as if he was murdering his own mate, as if he had been guilty of his death and the past continued to haunt him; so before he could do anything, he just let them go, trying not to collapse once again.

  
And last week hadn’t been any different.

  
***

  
_Seeing the state Robert was in, he was now getting a little more support than usual. So the battle, which lasted what seemed like an eternity, ended with the lives of most of the pirates of the golden flag, their eternal rivals. The few that survived escaped hurriedly between considerable stains of deep crimson._

_Leon, James and Joshua were in charge of reviewing what they could steal, and they were more than amazed to see the amount of gold coins and jewelry they got, in addition to liters and liters of alcohol, some weapons, candles, tobacco, and other helpful items._

_That night, Robert ended up lying on the wooden floor, with injuries on his skin that he knew he had never allowed himself to do before._

_He was aware that he hadn't been able to do the same things he used to do a year ago, where, with Thomas by his side, it was impossible for them to end up losing any battle. Thomas was the joy of the crew and Robert never understood how different he could become when fighting with his sword against his enemies. It was like seeing the hidden face of the moon._

  
***

Once night fell, Robert looked for Manuel, who was still with his hands on the ship’s wheel and swinging from side to side as if he remembered a song.

"It seems to be a quiet night today," he commented.

And he was right. The ocean seemed very calm tonight, without too much wind. He was sure that if Manuel weren't driving the ship, they would still be on their way with no problems.

Silence gripped them both for a few minutes, until Manuel decided to speak again.

"I know how you feel. I miss him too." Manuel said unexpectedly, taking Robert by surprise, who stopped looking at the dark sea to direct his gaze at his captain. When he saw his expression, Manuel continued. "I am sure he is proud of what you have accomplished, wherever he is now."

"It's different. I’m not used to not hearing his laugh," he replied with a small smile, trying to remember the good things and not the bad ones, although it was more difficult than it seemed. "I still remember when he drank so much that he fell asleep on the floor before he managed to go to bed."

Manuel laughed, and motioned for Robert to get a little closer.

"Do you still remember Sebastian?" he asked in a lower tone now. "Something similar happened to Niklas. He drank so much that Basti had to take care of him, and they slept together that night."

Robert laughed. He could never forget Sebastian, despite the fact that more than four years had passed since his violent murder. A sharp sword was stabbed into his chest. Niklas had done everything in his power to save him, but Sebastian bled to death after minutes that seemed like forever. He knew that Niklas would never forget what happened, and it took him several years to recover from his shock, but he gradually returned to become the person he was before. Everyone knew that the only condition was not to talk about him or it again, at least in Niklas’ presence, as a kind of silent pact.

At least he was able to take revenge for his death when the ship attacked them again. That was one of the few times they saw Niklas' most violent side; who was well known because despite being intimidating, he preferred to steal from others rather than cause physical harm.

Once he managed to spot his killer in front of him, he didn’t hesitate twice and took the matter in his own hands.

Robert didn’t want Thomas to die even in his worst nightmares, but if someone had murdered him, he would make sure that his murderer’s skull and none of his ancestors were found anywhere.

The conversation became so enjoyable that he lost track of time, and it was around the early morning that Robert realized that he had spoken to Manuel for a couple of long hours. The words seemed to flow smoothly and they had hardly talked about that topic. Robert was very thankful.

When Manuel's long yawn interrupted the brief silence between them, Robert didn’t hesitate to make him a suggestion.

"I can keep navigating if you want. Today was a long day, you could rest." Robert said, moving closer to the ship’s wheel. Manuel looked at him strangely, but released it and let him grab it.

"Today was a long day for you too Robert. Your injuries are still recent. You better not make too much effort."

Still, Manuel was right. But he was strong, or at least he should be. He wasn't going to let a few simple cuts take him away from what he wanted to do.

"I just have to steer the ship, not dance," he replied. "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." He put a hand on his shoulder and smiled briefly at him.

"Whatever you want. Just call me if you need help. No matter the time, just wake me up." he stated, and went to his cabin in the stern.

It was almost dawn.

The sea was fairly calm. Maybe too calm. The noise of the waves crashing into the ship was barely audible. The only sound he could hear was from the old ship wheel he held in his hands. He didn’t know what time it was exactly, the sky was still dark, but judging by the position of the moon, he knew that it was quite late and that everyone was surely fast asleep in their cabins.

Sometimes he seriously thought about giving up his life as a pirate, returning to the mainland and living a normal life, in a house set on the ground, in a town near the center of a city. But after three years since his new life began and the ship headed almost alone aimlessly in the middle of the ocean, it would be very difficult to return once again to what was once his native country.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a faint light from the right side of the ship, passing slowly, as if that thing was investigating it. Robert let go of the ship wheel and took off his sword. But when he looked at where it came from, there was nothing. It disappeared. It hadn’t left any trace.

However, when he turned his head, and looked up, he saw something that made him drop his sword to the ground and made his heart stop for a few seconds.

  
Thomas.

Thomas was there, floating, like some kind of entity, in front of him.

It definitely seemed to be him, the color of his eyes, his hair, his smile and his thin arms, everything was the same. And he looked as happy as he almost always used to be.

Robert didn’t know what to say. He didn't know whether to ask him if it really was him, how he could have come back, why it had taken him so long to come back, tell him how difficult his days had been since he had not been by his side. But only a sob escaped his throat, and before he knew it, he was crying, hiding his face in his hands, kneeling, though his urge was to run straight into his ghostly arms.

“ _Lewy, please don't cry, I'm here_.”

That voice.

It was his voice.

Suddenly, he felt a pair of arms surrounding his back that held him close. Thomas stroked his back, and Robert could swear that that was the same thing he used to do when he just wanted to disappear.

He wiped his tears away as best he could, but he couldn't stop crying.

"Why did you take so long? Where were you all this time?" he asked, his voice cracking in a whisper. He didn’t want to draw the attention of his sleeping mates.

" _I tried everything in my power to send you a signal, but nothing worked. I couldn't have this form until today,_ " he declared, with a melancholic smile. " _I missed you so much, Lewy._ " Thomas helped him get up, now standing face to face with him.

"And you think I don't? Nothing is the same without you Thomas, I couldn't find you in anyone else since you left. You are my mate, my best friend. I… you mean the world to me." he sobbed, letting his tears fall once more.

Thomas was sure he had misinterpreted the last sentence. Robert was not the type to express his feelings as openly as himself, much less if it was in situation like this one. He could tell him and ask him so many things, but they all got caught in the lump that formed in his throat. He couldn't speak, there was nothing to say, he could only hold on to his friend. He wanted to stay with him, not leave him alone for so long again. His eyes didn’t seem to radiate the same brightness, and his body seemed more tired, with certain scars on his arms and legs that he intuited were due to the hard fights he had with the other pirates. Thomas knew that Robert never let his guard down, much less during the fights, but now he seemed weaker, more fragile. If Thomas could feel his own heart, he would know that he could only hear it breaking into a thousand pieces.

" _I don't know how I got back here, I just know that I don't want to go, not again,_ " he stammered, stroking his cheek, wiping the new tears that were welling up from his eyes with his thumb. " _I want to stay with you._ "

"And why don't you just do it?" he questioned with some anger hidden in his voice.

" _I don't think I can do it,_ " he blurted out with clear sadness. " _I don't want to wait another year to see you again, Lewy. It's not easy here without you._ "

"I don't want to let you go. Not again, Thomas. I know it wasn't my fault, or yours, but I can't help it. These are thoughts I don't think I could ever erase from my mind," he confessed, reaching for a hug once more. "I feel like such an idiot, if only I could go back in time and get you back here, so I could tell you how much I loved you since our paths crossed..." he explained.

Automatically Robert felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. It was late, too late to confess to Thomas his deepest feeling, the one he had always been repressing in the depths of his being for fear of the possible answer, the almost inevitable rejection. But when Thomas parted from their hug, he didn't seem to be disappointed, or disgusted. His expression was exactly the same as a few seconds ago.

" _It's too late, but you should know that I've always loved you too. You've been my mate for so long, that nothing and nobody could ever compare to you. I'm so sorry I didn't told you before, Lewy. But you should know, I feel the same way._ "

Robert smiled, this time for real, for the first time in forever, and Thomas smiled at him, too. It was an incomprehensible feeling, something he had never experienced before that he felt arise from his own heart.

Lacking words, they just hugged one more time, and it felt like Thomas was physically there, next to him. The first rays of the sun began to appear at the horizon of the sea, and when Robert opened his eyes, he saw that Thomas was slowly fading away.

" _I don't have much time left,_ " he explained, stroking his cheek. " _I don't want to have to wait another year to see you again, Lewy. But I don't know any other way, sorry._ " He smiled weakly at him. " _But if I could just kiss you right now, I would do it._ "

"And what are you waiting for?"

And when Robert closed his eyes for a few seconds, he felt a gentle pressure on his lips. It felt like something real. Thomas had kissed him, and although he should be happy to confess his greatest secret and know that Thomas felt the same, his sadness returned when he opened his eyes and saw that the sun had already begun to shine, now with more intensity, and that Thomas was no longer there with him.

He ran to the nearest ship railing and instinctively looked down for him. His gaze then fixed on a small bright red trail that he saw floating between the waves. Although very far from him, he smiled for a moment to himself, and sighed heavily.

  
"Robert!" He heard suddenly, feeling heavy footsteps approaching him from behind.

It was Niklas. He still looked a bit asleep judging by his eye bags. "Are you al-" but he never finished asking the question, as the pained expression on Robert's face was more than enough of an answer.

"Thomas," he moaned, pointing his index finger towards the sea, where that red shine was. "He..."

Niklas opened his eyes even wider. Not only because of Robert's confession, but because he saw the same little red shine among the waves with his own eyes. Whatever the quartermaster had seen, it was not a joke. It was not an hallucination. He had seen it himself.

"I see it too." he simply replied, mesmerized, not knowing exactly what to say in such a delicate situation for his mate. There was a tense silence until Niklas decided to speak once more.

"I thought I was the only one who could see that kind of thing," he said under his breath. His voice was so soft that Robert could barely hear it. He turned to see him, shocked by that sudden confession. No word came out of his mouth, but he expected Niklas to keep talking about whatever he was talking about. "Sebastian. I also saw him. Every anniversary of his death it is as if his spirit was here again. I never discussed this with anyone, but I think it was the right time to tell you. "

"Can you see Thomas then?"

"I can't see him, but I can see Basti. It is as if we are connected, or something like that. God, it seems like a fantasy story! ” he commented with a smile.

"Does that mean that you had a special bond with him?" I know you were always a little closer to him than to the rest. ” Robert's amazement didn't seem like it was going to end any time soon.

Niklas watched him for a few seconds, and instantly lowered his head, looking out at the waves.

"We were very close, yes. Maybe we weren't just mates. I will never forget anything that happened even if years go by, and how lucky I was to cut off that bastard's head," he explained with pure venom in his voice. He sighed and continued speaking with forced calm. "I'm glad to see him at least once a year, though. I don't know where he comes from, nor where he is for the rest of the year, but I can at least see him."

Niklas mouth changed from a smile to a straight line, and Robert knew he was avoiding crying at all costs.

“It’s good to have someone to share this with. Thank you very much, Niki. ” Robert said, hugging him and patting him on the back.

"Do you- do you want to stay here or would you prefer me to take your place? I don't think Manu will have problem with that. You... should rest a bit." he said uncertainly, parting from his embrace.

"I'm fine," he replied. "I'll stay here, you need to rest too" and although his voice came out a little shaky, Niklas decided not to ask any more questions, so he just muttered a "let me know if you need help" before going back to his cabin.

  
A part of him was still very concerned about Robert's physical and mental state, so it took him a while to fall asleep. The machine in his head never seemed to stop, but he was able to fall asleep after trying to think of various other things that didn't include what had just happened, or Sebastian.

Maybe he shouldn't leave him alone, maybe he should go back and force Robert to sleep and try to distract him with something else, but his eyelids started to feel heavy, and before he could get out of bed, his eyes had already closed completely.

  
***

  
After a few hours, Niklas managed to wake up. Although what happened with Robert had happened just a few hours ago, at first he couldn't remember anything. It was after a few seconds that his brain was able to process what they witnessed, and he got out of his bed as fast as he could to join his mates, who weren’t in their cabins.

"Where's Robert?" was the first thing he managed to say, but he saw all his mates in a deadly silence, staring at the ground.

"We looked for him everywhere, but there is no trace of him anywhere." Joshua dared to say in a trembling voice.

Niklas didn’t answer, just walked with a firm step towards the stern, where Robert used to be in his spare time when he only needed time to think. His gaze involuntarily lingered on the sea, where he swore he had now seen not one but _two_ larger trails of red light among the waves, now shining brighter, following the ship.


End file.
